Kryptonite

The origin

Stevenson was running a 20% close rate on his own deals years back. He thought it was fine. A mentor broke it down for him:

"He said, 'Steve, can I be honest with you? You don't have a 20% close rate. You have an 80% think-it-over rate.' He said, 'A lot of times, the way that we like to buy is the way that we like to sell.' I later called it my kryptonite. It's like it's from my home planet. It makes me weak whenever it's around me."

The insight: the customer move that shuts you down is often the move you'd make yourself. It lands because you recognize it. You empathize. You respect it. And you back off — because you believe the customer the same way you'd believe yourself.

That's kryptonite. It's your own buying style reflected back at you by the customer, weaponized against you — usually without the customer even meaning to.

Industry terms this page covers

The mechanism — "how I buy is how I sell"

"The way that we like to buy is the way that we like to sell."

That's the whole thing. Reverse it:

• If you like to take your time deciding when you buy, you're going to give customers time to decide when you sell — even when they're using the delay as an exit.
• If you like to negotiate hard when you buy, you're going to negotiate hard when you sell — even when the customer already wanted your price.
• If you like to research everything before you buy, you're going to over-qualify before you sell — even when the customer is ready to move.
• If you like to trust your gut when you buy, you're going to under-qualify when you sell — trust your gut, close too fast, lose deals you could have developed.

Your selling default is a mirror of your buying default. And the moves you respect as a buyer are the ones you can't resist honoring as a seller.

Stevenson's kryptonite — "let me think it over"

The specific one that used to take him apart:

"I have to think it over and think it over and think it over. I'll have a gift card expire in my wallet a year later because I didn't spend a hundred bucks at Home Depot. I'm bad at it — or it used to be. So whenever a customer would throw that at me, I'd always flinch. I'm not a discount grinder. I'll pay full price for everything, I never grind. So when someone grinds with me, I'm always like, 'wait, you want a discount? Oh, are you testing me?' It just doesn't even phase me. But 'think it over'? I better give them time. This is a big decision."

Notice what's happening. The grind doesn't faze him because he doesn't grind. That's not his kryptonite — because it's not his buying style. But "think it over" guts him because he IS a think-it-over buyer. He projects his own seriousness about the phrase onto the customer. He gives the customer the space he'd want. And 80% of those never come back.

Which is why the framing matters: your kryptonite isn't a truly stronger objection than the ones you handle fine. It's an objection you can't see clearly, because it's wearing your face.

What a different seller's kryptonite might look like

Different buying styles, different kryptonite:

• The "shop around first" buyer. Their kryptonite as a seller? "We're looking at a few other suppliers." They go, "of course, take your time, check everyone out" — because that's what they'd want to do. Meanwhile the deal cools.
• The "negotiate on principle" buyer. Their kryptonite as a seller? "Your price is too high." They can't just hold firm — they feel compelled to give something, because that's the dance they'd want.
• The "trust the expert" buyer. Their kryptonite? "Just tell me what to do." They over-explain, over-recommend, take on too much responsibility for the decision, then get blamed when it doesn't work.
• The "don't like pressure" buyer. Their kryptonite? "I need to sit with this." They back off completely. No follow-up. "I don't want to be that guy." And they lose the deal to someone who is that guy.

The pattern: whatever you respect most in a seller when you're the buyer, you over-honor when you're the seller. And customers intuitively pick up on which sellers crumble at which moves.

Naming yours — the diagnostic

How do you find your kryptonite? Three angles:

1. Audit your losses. Look at your last 20 losses. Is there a single reason that shows up way more often than others? "They went with a different supplier." "They were going to get back to me." "They said they needed time." That phrase, repeated, is the shape of your kryptonite.

2. Audit your own buying. How did you buy your last car? Your last appliance? Your last service? What moves did you make as a buyer? Hesitate? Research? Negotiate? Stall? That same behavior is what cripples you as a seller — because when a customer does it, you get it.

3. Listen to the flinch. When a customer says something specific, does your body tighten? Do you back off, soften your tone, start apologizing? That flinch is diagnostic. Your kryptonite is whatever triggers the flinch.

What to do about it — the inoculation

You can't un-learn your buying style. But you can pre-load a response for when the kryptonite shows up. The goal isn't to eliminate the empathy — it's to prevent the empathy from collapsing the conversation.

For "let me think it over":

"Totally get it — I'm a think-it-over guy myself. Out of curiosity, when you say think it over, what specifically are you weighing? Let's walk through it — because sometimes I can answer the question that's actually sitting there, and sometimes you really do just need time. What's the piece you're chewing on?"

That's not pushback. It's engagement. You're honoring the empathy AND refusing to let the phrase exit the conversation.

For "we're looking at other suppliers":

"Smart move — I'd do the same. Who else are you talking to? Because I want to make sure I'm not pitching you on stuff that another good supplier already covers. Let's make sure the conversation is worth your time."

You just agreed with their instinct AND kept the conversation open AND got intel on the competition. Triple win.

For "your price is too high":

"Yeah — it's probably not the lowest in the stack. If price was the only variable, I'd tell you to go with somebody else. Can we talk for a second about what the other variables are in this decision? Then we can figure out whether the price gap is actually the issue."

You refused to cave AND didn't stonewall. That's the middle path.

The format for all of them: acknowledge the empathy honestly, then ask one more question. The question is what protects you from the kryptonite. The acknowledgment is what keeps you human.

It's not always dramatic

One thing to know about kryptonite: it rarely looks like a big objection. It's usually a soft, quiet move that shuts the conversation down without either party noticing.

• "Let me sit with it."
• "I'll get back to you."
• "We'll see how the season goes."
• "Email me a quote and I'll review it."

All of those sound reasonable. None of them are inherently deal-killers. But if one of them is your kryptonite, the deal dies quietly 80% of the time — and you'll write off the loss as "they just weren't ready." That's the tell. When your loss reasons feel vague, you're probably losing to your kryptonite.

The "different kryptonite, different coaching" truth

One implication for sales managers or coaches: the advice that unlocks one seller won't unlock another. Because each seller has a different kryptonite.

• Seller A struggles with "think it over." Teach them the walk-through-it response.
• Seller B struggles with "your price is too high." Teach them quote posture and the price reframes.
• Seller C struggles with "let me check with my partner." Teach them decision-maker qualification.

If you try to give everyone the same objection-handling playbook, you'll frustrate the sellers whose kryptonite isn't the one you're coaching. Coach the kryptonite that's actually blocking the individual.

Homework — find your kryptonite

This week:

1. Pull your last 20 losses. Write down the stated reason for each. Look for the phrase or pattern that shows up most often. That's the probable shape of your kryptonite.
2. Write your own buying autobiography in one paragraph. How do you buy? What moves do you make as a buyer? What do you respect in a seller? Look for the mirror.
3. Build one inoculation response for your identified kryptonite. Script it. Say it out loud. Memorize it until it feels natural.
4. Next three times your kryptonite shows up in the wild, run the inoculation response and note what happens. Most sellers are shocked how often "let me think it over" turns into a real conversation the moment it gets engaged instead of honored.

Where to go next

• Slowing Down Before Quoting — slowing down early prevents the conversation from arriving at your kryptonite moment underprepared
• DISC — your DISC style strongly predicts your buying style, which strongly predicts your kryptonite
• Equal Business Stature — stature is the general antidote to all kryptonite; knowing your specific one is the surgical antidote
• AWAQ — the "answer with a question" response is what protects you when your kryptonite hits
• Quote Posture — price-related kryptonite lives here

Source: drawn from 4 canonical moments across the live-coaching corpus — including the "80% think-it-over rate" self-diagnosis, the "way you like to buy is the way you like to sell" mechanism, the "I can handle discount-grinding because I never grind" example of kryptonite-vs-non-kryptonite, and the "this could be one of those rocks for you" coaching frame. Voice preserved.